Impromptu Musical Staged in Strait of Hormuz

Since the the January 9th confrontation between 3 American warships and five Iranian speed boats in the Strait of Hormuz, there have been several news conferences and videotapes inferring conflict. Now, in efforts to smooth the waters, American sailors are stepping forward to give details of the impromptu musical they staged on the high seas.

A recent videotape shows Vice Adm. Kevin Cosgriff, commander of the U.S. 5th Fleet, tap dancing across the ship deck and singing to the Iranians in a sweet tenor voice.

“Once I saw the speed boats, I knew what needed to be done.” said Adm. Cosgriff who envisioned the same dance numbers as SN David Frobose. “Thank God I brought my tap shoes.”

Being swept with a sudden urge to sing and dance, Adm Cosgriff adorned crew members with plastic jewelry from his suitcase and attempted radio contact with the Iranians to inform them of plot synopsis and the title of the musical, International Waters.

A warning horn sounded indicating all players should take their places and the musical unfolded with a duet by SN Warren Walts and PO Betty Dyke.

“You see musicals about conflicts everywhere and I thought, let’s make one that is just about happy people on ships floating in the sea.” Cosgriff said.

Although short-lived at only 20 minutes in length, the impromptu musical was considered a hit despite waning enthusiasm from the Iranians.

“They just couldn’t get into the stage makeup and the high heel shoes,” commented PO3 Mike Daniels who pirouetted across the stage as the musical reached its climax.

The lack of a script found on the ship and hazy memory of the performing crew has Broadway playwrights jumping at the opportunity to write this magnanimous work as a 2-hour long, protagonist-based musical.

Famous children’s singer Johnny Cash has been optioned to write the soundtrack with songs including the Territory Shuffle, Hello You and Friendly Waters.

Adm. Cosgriff is excited about the possibilities for this musical and wishes there were more non-combative true stories to tell the world through song and dance.

Cosgriff concluded: “People don’t want to be entertained by wars and death. This peaceful confrontation was truly a magical moment and will go down in history.”