Sunrise- Florida ice cream truck driver Samuel Plaftom vowed to avenge First Lady Michelle Obama yesterday if she continues Let’s Move!, her ambitious campaign to tackle the challenge of childhood obesity.The news came after the 248-pound man watched a press conference where Michelle Obama stated her desire to eliminate dessert. Plaftom immediately dropped his ice cream cone and sounded his ice cream truck alarm to organize his 2-ton support group.
“This woman is destroying my business and she is corrupting the cholesterol-clogged, fatty-deposited hearts of all Americans,” Plaftom said catching his breath. “I will chase her down and fight her for doing this to us.” The feeble man took two steps forward then needed to sit down and rest to catch his breath.
Area support groups including Fostering America’s Tonnage (FAT) and Overweight Beauties Eating So Excessively (OBESE) have also waddled out of hiding in support of Plaftom and high-caloric, sugary goods that line grocery store shelves.
“I believe you can accomplish anything with a shotgun and some pulled pork,” FAT republican Patricia Clark said. “Leave it to the preppies to try and make us work for some silly ideal that won’t even give us instant gratification.”
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