Washington – This morning Barack Obama teamed with residents of Moody Acres mental institute for a charity car wash as a final attempt at gaining Democratic support in Tuesday’s election.
President Obama, clad in a polo shirt, blue shorts and tattered penny loafers, got down and dirty with patients suffering from schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and retardation, to clean the cavalcade of Japanese and German made cars that rolled into the Exxon station on Capitol Hill.
“Yes you can keep your car clean,” Obama said to the driver of a Honda civic, spraying Windex on the front windshield. “But it’s going to take a lot of hard work on your part and it ain’t going to happen overnight.”
Obama’s rhetoric left many customers of the five cents car wash confused and uneasy.
“I don’t understand why he said I had to work for it,” car wash customer Meryl Hamper said. “I mean, I paid five cents so they would clean it for me, right?”
Members of Moody Acres mental institute appreciated the president’s help, and were each happy to earn three cents after Obama deducted supply expenses, 55% in federal and state taxes, and his share of the profits.
“At least we got something because I was afraid that the black man would just take it all,” paranoid schizophrenic Clyde Williams said.
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