The highly publicized terrorist group Al-Qaida unveiled its new line of contemporary clothing and accessories to the world Friday, including pants with rip-n-go hand grenade pockets and biohazard-suits with inner-lining periodic tables and fireproof gloves.
Retired terrorist and clothing designer Hurayth Quu says he came up with the Al clothing line after overhearing ill-dressed terrorists reminiscing attacks gone wrong.
“I remember thinking that the cause of their failure had something to do with their outside appearance.” Quu said from his clothing factory in Afghanistan. “I wanted to create a fashionable line of clothing to make sure terrorists are fully equipped and looking good on the job.”
By tapping into a group that holds a questionable reputation, Al has quickly become the epitome of chic for terrorists who hope to change the look of their legacy. And since the line’s first appearance, Terrorists In Training have been crowding the camp’s student cafeteria next to Quu’s factory, hoping they can be the next fashion icon before being the next explosive device.
“This new line of clothing doesn’t make us look so bad,” TIT Ismail said just seconds before he blew up.
Mr. Quu first attracted notice when he viscously beheaded 3 government officials in London, wearing a gold-plated vest and bell-bottoms, with fireproof platform shoes. His glamorous appearance served as a wink at the cult personality forming around the man voted best-dressed terrorist 3 years in a row.
“I didn’t get into terrorism to just be like everyone else.” Quu said. “Anyone can bomb a building, but I’m here to make a difference.”
Retired terrorist and clothing designer Hurayth Quu says he came up with the Al clothing line after overhearing ill-dressed terrorists reminiscing attacks gone wrong.
“I remember thinking that the cause of their failure had something to do with their outside appearance.” Quu said from his clothing factory in Afghanistan. “I wanted to create a fashionable line of clothing to make sure terrorists are fully equipped and looking good on the job.”
By tapping into a group that holds a questionable reputation, Al has quickly become the epitome of chic for terrorists who hope to change the look of their legacy. And since the line’s first appearance, Terrorists In Training have been crowding the camp’s student cafeteria next to Quu’s factory, hoping they can be the next fashion icon before being the next explosive device.
“This new line of clothing doesn’t make us look so bad,” TIT Ismail said just seconds before he blew up.
Mr. Quu first attracted notice when he viscously beheaded 3 government officials in London, wearing a gold-plated vest and bell-bottoms, with fireproof platform shoes. His glamorous appearance served as a wink at the cult personality forming around the man voted best-dressed terrorist 3 years in a row.
“I didn’t get into terrorism to just be like everyone else.” Quu said. “Anyone can bomb a building, but I’m here to make a difference.”
With his explosive clothing line, Quu is making a difference in the way terrorists look, and the economy in the Middle East is blowing up with profits.
Investors hope the clothing line will spread like anthrax and envision future store openings in Japan and Europe.
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