New York-Lauren Delanoe, 29, refuses to get rid of the disgusting fucking purse that she has been using to transport her schoolbooks, laptop and important documents in for the past 10 years—despite the fact that it’s destroying her relationship with boyfriend, Frank Wemner.
The once baby blue sac is soaked with oil and coffee stains, and the Velcro has worn off the outer pocket, causing the bag to whimsically flap open in the wind.
“She looks like a homeless person with that bag,” says Wemner, who has been buying Delanoe new name-brand bags since their 8-year relationship started. “Lauren says that fucking bag has still got some life in it, so she won’t change.”
Wemner further stated that most people inch away from his girlfriend at parties and on public transportation, attesting to a strange, dead fish-like odor emitting from the polyester. He says that social situations are definelty awkward and she can’t even find a job.
On a recent interview, Leo Burnett was ready to hire her as the new Advertising Representative. But, when Manager Christian Kent noticed Delanoe’s bag, he reconsidered his options.
“When she placed the company profile packet into that disgusting blue bag, I was a bit leery of how she might represent the company.”
Despite continual protestations, Delanoe remains in a state of contentment. “I like my bag,” she commented.
The once baby blue sac is soaked with oil and coffee stains, and the Velcro has worn off the outer pocket, causing the bag to whimsically flap open in the wind.
“She looks like a homeless person with that bag,” says Wemner, who has been buying Delanoe new name-brand bags since their 8-year relationship started. “Lauren says that fucking bag has still got some life in it, so she won’t change.”
Wemner further stated that most people inch away from his girlfriend at parties and on public transportation, attesting to a strange, dead fish-like odor emitting from the polyester. He says that social situations are definelty awkward and she can’t even find a job.
On a recent interview, Leo Burnett was ready to hire her as the new Advertising Representative. But, when Manager Christian Kent noticed Delanoe’s bag, he reconsidered his options.
“When she placed the company profile packet into that disgusting blue bag, I was a bit leery of how she might represent the company.”
Despite continual protestations, Delanoe remains in a state of contentment. “I like my bag,” she commented.
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