Chinese Government Bans Patty Cake From Schoolyards

Beijing- The Chinese government announced a new ban on the popular child’s game patty cake last week after complaints of the game’s violent and threatening nature.

After seeing groups of children on the school playground, forcefully slapping hands with one another and shouting about babies and ovens, minister of education Zhou Ji pulled his two grandkids aged seven and nine out of the public school system, and promptly sought out authorities to express his concern.

“This is violent, outrageous Western game that must be stopped,” Ji told reporters “If Westerners not careful, we going to patty cake them.”

Some parents and teachers contested the ban and were promptly removed from public view, while the remainder of the population complied without question.

The ban went into effect immediately with a penalty of up to 10 years in prison for offenders.

“You baking cake fast, you going to hurt somebody,” said an unamused Hu Jintao, General Secretary of the CPC. “Good cake come from hard, hard labor and sacrifice.”