Washington - US government officials were stunned today to learn that their main source of funding, the Human Think Tank (HTT), is nothing more than a guy with a stuffed dolphin.
Police entered the home of Leeroy Tunc on Friday morning in response to a noise complaint by a neighbor. Once inside the D.C. home, they found Tunc with stuffed dolphin held close to his chest, and months of government checks written out to the Human Think Tank scattered about the premises.
“We kept getting reports on the human species from HTT so we just assumed it was legitimate from the start and paid for it,” Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said.
Records showed that the government had been receiving studies on human activities such as coloring, eating ice cream and playing Frolf for more than 14 years from HTT without asking questions of its validity or purpose.
“As government officials, it is our job to learn about human beings,” Senator Chris Dodd said. “It’s just a shame to think that a name as good as Human Think Tank was made up.”
Officials are left debating whether or not they will press charges on the man they depended on for so much human research, but will take away HTT’s tax exempt status.
“We can not act rashly on this issue,” Rice said. “This man may be our only key to better understanding the human species.”
Police entered the home of Leeroy Tunc on Friday morning in response to a noise complaint by a neighbor. Once inside the D.C. home, they found Tunc with stuffed dolphin held close to his chest, and months of government checks written out to the Human Think Tank scattered about the premises.
“We kept getting reports on the human species from HTT so we just assumed it was legitimate from the start and paid for it,” Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said.
Records showed that the government had been receiving studies on human activities such as coloring, eating ice cream and playing Frolf for more than 14 years from HTT without asking questions of its validity or purpose.
“As government officials, it is our job to learn about human beings,” Senator Chris Dodd said. “It’s just a shame to think that a name as good as Human Think Tank was made up.”
Officials are left debating whether or not they will press charges on the man they depended on for so much human research, but will take away HTT’s tax exempt status.
“We can not act rashly on this issue,” Rice said. “This man may be our only key to better understanding the human species.”
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