Ben and Jerry's Free Cone Day Overshadows Holocaust Remembrance

New York - Survivors of the Holocaust gathered at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in Lower Manhattan this morning to share their experiences in honor of Yom HaShoah, when one of the survivors got word of Ben and Jerry’s Free Cone Day and started a commotion that terminated the opening ceremony.

Elders reportedly scrambled for their walkers and canes, disregarding survivor Gilbert Friedman’s touching speech, and knocking over burning remembrance candles to flock to the nearest ice cream store for the free treat.

“At first we thought the man who yelled out about the ice cream was having a senile outburst,” museum curator Dorothy Weathers said. “We called security to restrain him for his own protection and the protection of others.”

The seniors rushed the security guards biting and kicking their way out of the museum and aimlessly wandered the street in search of the frozen treat.

“I have never seen them move so fast,” Nurse Walkman of Shady Acres retirement home said. “But the only thing Jews like more than free stuff is ice cream, so I was not too surprised by their excitement.”

When the Knesset, (Israel’s parliament) got word of the happenings in America, officials vowed to establish an ice cream eating ritual on Yom HaShoah to ease survivor’s weary minds.

Knesset Speaker Reuven Rivlin summed up the new edict in these words: “Ice cream may be the only thing these survivors have left.”