Pope Surrenders Holy Water at Airport Security

Vatican City - Pope Benedict XVI was in hot water yesterday when he tried to get through security at Leonardo da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport with a bottle of holy water.

Security guard Reggie Smith took the bottle out of the pope’s bag and tossed it in the garbage can with various other plastics bottles containing liquid. The pope then accused Mr. Smith of being the devil and an argument ensued, delaying passengers’ movement through the gate.

“If I give him special treatment I’m going to have to give it to everyone else,” Mr. Smith said in defense. “It’s my neck if I let one liquid get through there.”

Other travelers agreed with the airport employee’s reaction and some even questioned the identity of God’s chosen leader of the Catholic Church.

“I’ve seen terrorist’s in better disguises than that,” American Airlines passenger Abu Da Lika said. “I was also a bit suspicious about his staff; that cross could really poke someone’s eye out.”

The irate Pope continued to his departure gate once security confirmed his identification, but he was unable to reclaim the blessed water.

Reporters caught up with his holiness at his connecting flight in Amsterdam, where he had this to say: Go to hell.