Washington-Kenneth Feinberg, the treasury Department’s special master for compensation was spotted in the Capitol building earlier today demanding 50 cents from passers-by so that he could get a snack out of the vending machine.He feverishly searched under the machine and on the floor before hurling threats at any government official or tourist who would listen.
“I will not work towards lowering total compensation for the 25 highest-paid employees at seven firms receiving large sums of government aid until I have eaten a bag of Fritos,” he said.
Mr. Feinberg was appointed in June 2009 by the Obama Administration to oversee the compensation of top executives at companies which have received federal bailout assistance, and most of his colleagues agree that he is difficult to work with.
“It’s usually around meal times that he gets arrogant and angry,” Vice President Joe Biden said.
Feinberg remained in the hallway stamping his feet and screaming obscenities until a homeless man dropped two dirty coins at his feet.
“He needed it more than me,” homeless man Bob said swatting the flies away from his body.
Once placated by the high sodium and fat content in the packaged food, Feinberg justified his outburst saying, “I will work effortlessly to ensure that a change machine be placed next to vending machines in 500 of the nation’s biggest corporate firms.”
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