Large Hadron Collider Generates Pac-Men

Geneva – Scientists were amazed late Tuesday night when the recently turned on particle accelerator smashed together opposing particle beams of protons and lead nuclei and produced several miniature Pac-Men.

The machine began spewing out the arcade game characters only minutes after it began its prolific objective of recreating the formation of our universe. The three-dimensional particles spilled out of the machine and began eating every circular object in sight, fleeing into dark corners when any ghost-like being came near them.

“We didn’t know what to expect, and certainly expected nothing this great,” Physicist and life-long gamer Lars Olfinson said. “The existence of Pac Men is far more important than the existence of anything else human might ponder, even the existence of God.”

After hours of chasing the new species around the laboratory, scientists set up a trap to contain all ten of them in a cage, although one evaporated upon coming into contact with one of the scientist’s ghost-ring. Scientists will begin performing experiments to explore the chemical makeup and biology of these animals and discern if they are in fact what created our universe and life on Earth.

“We find that they really like to move around in the rat mazes,” scientist Greta Schussesser said.
Workers at CERN, the European Center for Nuclear Research are scheduled to turn Large Hadron Collider on again in March 2010 when they will begin their search for Super Mario Bros.