Thursday, December 23, 2010

Area Man Has Nervous Breakdown Trying to Think of Others During Holidays


New York City-Area man Roy Henderson was overwhelmed by the concept of thinking about another person during the holiday season while shopping in Macy’s Herald Square yesterday afternoon.

While conversing with a store clerk to learn about the concept of giving a gift to another person, the forty-three-year-old clutched at his chest and complained of not being able to breath. According to the police report, Henderson fainted when a store clerk presented him with two gift options that he could not benefit from.

“He seemed pretty frazzled from the start, asking me questions about why people exchange gifts to one another instead of just buying things they want,” customer service rep. Tina Chuwana said. “I just asked a few follow up questions about the person he was shopping for and the guy completely lost it, and was screaming about how the person should get their own gift.”

Other store clerks agreed with Chuwana that the customer was hostile and seemed like he did not know what he was doing in the store.

Friends and family members came forward when they heard of Henderson’s hospitalization and assured police that the concept of giving was foreign to the man.

“I never should have pushed him to buy me a gift,” Henderson’s wife Clara said through tears. “Sure he’s a selfish jerk, but we never wanted anything like this to happen.”

Henderson, who is recuperating in General Hospital, commented from his hospital bed. “You’re damn right this is her fault. I just hope that woman has $50,000 for my hospital bill.”