Monday, November 10, 2008

U.S. Girl Scouts in Need of Financial Bailout


National- Girl Scout cookie sales crumbled this morning, sending troops across America into a perpetual state of fear and worry.

“My hard work and investments are worthless.” 13-year old Carolyn Reiss, who was hoping to win a 6-inch talking stuffed dolphin for her annual sales record said.

Since the price of Girl Scout cookies had jumped to a whopping $15.00 per box, the younglings have been relying heavily on the ‘honesty policy borrowing plan’ and engaging in shady business deals with Hasbro, the company who sells Easy-Bake Oven. It wasn’t until the organization’s National Treasurer, 11-year old Sammy Winters opened her Hello Kitty notebook to calculate the year’s profits, that anyone realized the group was in trouble.

“So far we’ve gone to our parents and neighborhood friends for aide, but it is not enough to pay off the $2 billion we owe for flour, sugar, and our stock of prizes,” Winters said.

Troops from around the nation are planning a surge on Washington in the hopes that the U.S. Treasury will buy up toxic cookies.

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