New York – Rampant job cuts in the newspapers industry have forced short-staffed editors to recycle old news, combining unfinished stories about the Obama Administration or Terrorism with articles from Theodore Roosevelt’s presidency or civil rights movements in the 60’s.
“I’ll admit it’s confusing at first,” Metro editor-in-chief Ralph Luckenlu said. “But we have to get papers out on the street and we don’t have time to follow up on stories and get better coverage of issues, so we just throw it together, or make it up like FOX news.”
The change in newspaper format has brought confusion to the masses that wake up fearing that a war is still being fought or question if Elvis is dead. Several Holocaust survivors were hospitalized when they read that Nazi Germany was advancing into Iran with nuclear weapons, and retired vaudevillians got ready for show time when they mistook the social networking site, Facebook for a New York stage.
“When I was a kid, newspapers only cost a nickel,” confused Washington Post reader Bernard Williams said.
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