Dr. Norman Marcus of C.H.I.P. Laboratory in San Francisco, Ca., discovered the lively effects of rat poisoning after giving a small dose to his wife before bedtime one night.
Mrs. Harriet Marcus, 59, was unaware of the toxic poison that was stirred into her chamomile tea, which she drank before dozing off to sleep just after midnight. The following morning she awoke possessed with an amount of energy she claimed to have been lacking since youth.
“I was up at 6 AM practically dancing on air. I pulled some weeds in my daisy garden, played tennis and spent the afternoon shopping.” a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Mrs. Marcus said.
Dr. Marcus, who says he gave the rat poisoning to his wife to silence her incessant complaining about a bad night’s sleep, was just as surprised when she awoke the following morning. He couldn’t have imagined the poisoning would have such an animated effect, and tried to keep his act of goodwill a secret.
“I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Dr. Marcus said sharpening a kitchen knife. “But she asked me. And then she asked me again. And she wouldn’t stop asking me about the tea.” he seethed.
Mrs. Marcus says the medicine was so good she plans to drink the mixture every night, despite ominous warnings from the scientific community and family friends.
“This guy is insane and is going to hurt someone,” protested Harriet’s brother, Stan Keiser. Further inquest shows that Stan Keiser has been lacking a good night’s sleep for years and suggests he is jealous of his sister’s new-found remedy.
Dr. Marcus plans on continuing his research to aid insomnia suffers with other experiments including multiple stab wounds to kick-start the unconscious into sleep and fires surrounding the bed to ensure the sleeper is warm and cozy.
Experiments will continue in his quiet home and Marcus’ loving wife will remain his guinea pig.
“She’s such a good sport,” Marcus squeaked. “Why won’t she just di- dye her hair black?”
Mrs. Harriet Marcus, 59, was unaware of the toxic poison that was stirred into her chamomile tea, which she drank before dozing off to sleep just after midnight. The following morning she awoke possessed with an amount of energy she claimed to have been lacking since youth.
“I was up at 6 AM practically dancing on air. I pulled some weeds in my daisy garden, played tennis and spent the afternoon shopping.” a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Mrs. Marcus said.
Dr. Marcus, who says he gave the rat poisoning to his wife to silence her incessant complaining about a bad night’s sleep, was just as surprised when she awoke the following morning. He couldn’t have imagined the poisoning would have such an animated effect, and tried to keep his act of goodwill a secret.
“I didn’t tell her because I didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Dr. Marcus said sharpening a kitchen knife. “But she asked me. And then she asked me again. And she wouldn’t stop asking me about the tea.” he seethed.
Mrs. Marcus says the medicine was so good she plans to drink the mixture every night, despite ominous warnings from the scientific community and family friends.
“This guy is insane and is going to hurt someone,” protested Harriet’s brother, Stan Keiser. Further inquest shows that Stan Keiser has been lacking a good night’s sleep for years and suggests he is jealous of his sister’s new-found remedy.
Dr. Marcus plans on continuing his research to aid insomnia suffers with other experiments including multiple stab wounds to kick-start the unconscious into sleep and fires surrounding the bed to ensure the sleeper is warm and cozy.
Experiments will continue in his quiet home and Marcus’ loving wife will remain his guinea pig.
“She’s such a good sport,” Marcus squeaked. “Why won’t she just di- dye her hair black?”
No comments:
Post a Comment