Science-As the bee population continues to disappear, diminishing the world’s honey supply, jellyfish are balancing out the condiment crisis by leaving jarred jams in strawberry, grape and apricot flavors on shores along America’s East Coast.
Local officials have been getting calls from baffled Cape Cod, Miami, and East Hampton beachgoers who are stumbling on these jars in the sand.
“I was, like, practicing my Hasselhoff run and, like, I tripped on this thing,” said surfer Troy Shrankle. “I look down and whoa, it’s a jar of stuff.”
Although most jam-finders are giving the unlabeled jars to local laboratories for testing, Shankles reportedly opened the container and without hesitation began consuming the contents.
“It was, like, a pretty cool color, so I, like, had to eat it, you know?
The scientific community is coming together to try and explain this phenomenon with animal analysts discussing the bitterness between honey and jam, historians and etymologists hoping to find an answer in the species name, and evolutionists looking for superior traits in the fruity spread.
“Natural selection obviously plays a factor in this.” Dr. Reinernoos, a professor and evolutionist at Harvard University concluded. “It’s in the facts: recent taste tests show that people like jelly more than honey.”
Honeybees started disappearing from America in 2006 and most analysts are puzzled as to their new home. Market Research Companies speculate that honeybees left the American honey business because of a stream of low profits, and are retiring in quiet islands near the West Indies.
Regardless, marketing representatives with Kraft see a promising future with jellyfish, and expect better work relations between the species.
“I just hope these jelly fish take full responsibility for their product and label those jars. We did enough work for those damn bees and look where we are today.”
Local officials have been getting calls from baffled Cape Cod, Miami, and East Hampton beachgoers who are stumbling on these jars in the sand.
“I was, like, practicing my Hasselhoff run and, like, I tripped on this thing,” said surfer Troy Shrankle. “I look down and whoa, it’s a jar of stuff.”
Although most jam-finders are giving the unlabeled jars to local laboratories for testing, Shankles reportedly opened the container and without hesitation began consuming the contents.
“It was, like, a pretty cool color, so I, like, had to eat it, you know?
The scientific community is coming together to try and explain this phenomenon with animal analysts discussing the bitterness between honey and jam, historians and etymologists hoping to find an answer in the species name, and evolutionists looking for superior traits in the fruity spread.
“Natural selection obviously plays a factor in this.” Dr. Reinernoos, a professor and evolutionist at Harvard University concluded. “It’s in the facts: recent taste tests show that people like jelly more than honey.”
Honeybees started disappearing from America in 2006 and most analysts are puzzled as to their new home. Market Research Companies speculate that honeybees left the American honey business because of a stream of low profits, and are retiring in quiet islands near the West Indies.
Regardless, marketing representatives with Kraft see a promising future with jellyfish, and expect better work relations between the species.
“I just hope these jelly fish take full responsibility for their product and label those jars. We did enough work for those damn bees and look where we are today.”
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