Sunday, March 30, 2008

Man Dies After Refusing to Engage in Somewhat Homosexual Act


Paris-Last Monday, 34 year old Philippe Mandeau died when he fell off the back of a motorcycle after refusing to grab hold of the driver’s waist, claiming the act was “too homosexual.”

Just as the motorcycle circled the arc de triomphe at 30kmph, driver Guillaume Borisot suggested Mandeau grab hold of his waist to ensure safety around the sharp turn. When the passenger refused, opting to cling to the metal bar on the back of the seat, Borisot carried on, weaving in and out of traffic.

As Borisot picked up speed, Mandeau slid off the bike and into oncoming traffic.

“We were best friends since childhood, and he always had this fear that people would think of him as gay.”

Borisot, who attests to his own heterosexuality, says none of this would have happened if homosexual stereotypes were not so prevalent in society.

“It’s a shame that the world stereotypes a man’s behavior like that.” Borisot said, glancing at a stack of Flava Men magazines on his coffee table. “If they didn’t, my friend wouldn’t be dead.”

In honor of Philippe Mandeau, Borisot has started a fund for the Mental Rehabilitation of Clearly Un-gay Men. The fund will collect money for heterosexual men who need to purchase “manly” items such as hammers, footballs, and Die Hard DVD’s to justify their sexuality devoid of mental calamity.

Borisot added: “The MRCUM is a place not only to justify who you are, but an understanding environment where everyone can share feelings and sem—see movies.”

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