A bomb scheduled to detonate in Chicago, IL, accidentally went off in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday, due to an American Airlines attendant misplacing the luggage of world-renowned terrorist Milak Ahaah.
Ahaah left his bomb-filled bag with American Airlines attendant Sarah Reiner four hours prior to getting on flight 487 scheduled to blow up at Chicago’s O’Hare airport at 9:10 PM. Unfortunately for Ahaah, whose group hoped to use the bombing to springboard their plan for world-domination, the terrorist arrived safely in Chicago a few hours later.
After hearing of the accidental explosion that killed 482 people in an airport in New Mexico, Ahaah learned of his luggage displacement.
“This mistake just cost me big time and is going to ensure democracy in the United States for at least another 6 years,” Ahaah said. “My family was to receive a large sum of money for my successful suicide mission, but now I’m a laughing stock.”
American Airlines apologized for the inconvenience, and flight attendant Reiner resigned after admitting to her recurring mishandlement of passenger luggage.
“I’m responsible for killing a lot of people in New Mexico who weren’t supposed to die,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “And I ruined a man who was just trying to do his job.”
In a recent press statement, American Airlines vowed to be more vigilant with passengers’ luggage and to show their regret, presented Ahaah with drink vouchers redeemable at any TGI Fridays.
“I will do anything in my powers to ensure that terrorist groups bomb the right airport from now on,” a spokesman for American Airlines said.
Ahaah left his bomb-filled bag with American Airlines attendant Sarah Reiner four hours prior to getting on flight 487 scheduled to blow up at Chicago’s O’Hare airport at 9:10 PM. Unfortunately for Ahaah, whose group hoped to use the bombing to springboard their plan for world-domination, the terrorist arrived safely in Chicago a few hours later.
After hearing of the accidental explosion that killed 482 people in an airport in New Mexico, Ahaah learned of his luggage displacement.
“This mistake just cost me big time and is going to ensure democracy in the United States for at least another 6 years,” Ahaah said. “My family was to receive a large sum of money for my successful suicide mission, but now I’m a laughing stock.”
American Airlines apologized for the inconvenience, and flight attendant Reiner resigned after admitting to her recurring mishandlement of passenger luggage.
“I’m responsible for killing a lot of people in New Mexico who weren’t supposed to die,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “And I ruined a man who was just trying to do his job.”
In a recent press statement, American Airlines vowed to be more vigilant with passengers’ luggage and to show their regret, presented Ahaah with drink vouchers redeemable at any TGI Fridays.
“I will do anything in my powers to ensure that terrorist groups bomb the right airport from now on,” a spokesman for American Airlines said.
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