Tuesday, July 29, 2008

John McCain Caught Drinking Blood


MO - An Associated Press photographer captured McCain behind the scenes at a rally in Cassville yesterday, gulping down a 2-litre bottle of clearly labeled Blood Juice, creating a circus of questions around McCain and his campaign aids.

Other spectators have come forward to express their eerie concerns for the presumptive Republican candidate, claiming he always avoids garlic foods and maintains late-night hours.

“I think this country needs a Black president before it can handle anything like a vampire in the White House,” Missouri Democrat Leonor K. Sullivan said.

McCain aids continue denying the validity of the photos, adding, “If anyone is a vampire, it should not be allowed to adopt a child,” to cheers from senior Republican voters.

Blood Juice is a trademark of Coca-Cola, and was first produced as a fuel-booster for marathon-running vampires. It banned in 1806 in all states except Louisiana. Mississippi, and California, where it can be found in most independently-owned headshops and gas stations along dirt roads.

The juice is a mixture of 78 percent pig, cow and human blood, 20 percent high fructose corn syrup and 2 percent water.

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